a contract to myself

boy with hands on chin, squinting from sunlight

 

“I don’t give up the camera eye when I write, merely the camera.” Wright Morris (A quote I found while reading Shutterfly magazine).

 

A battle ensues in my brain. Take photos—lose time for writing. Write—time wasted for photo shoots and missed photography opportunities. But, as usual, what goes on in my head isn’t always reality. The fact that I need to tell myself over and over until it is ingrained is this: time spent creating is never wasted.

Even though I haven’t been writing here recently, much has happened. My world has changed, with some pain and some loss, but my goals and dreams are still the same.  I learned that time spent living is never wasted, either. Although the changes in my life weren’t planned, and they held me back from my goals, I’m moving forward and accomplishing as much as I can, when I can. When I stop pressuring myself to get so much done in a limited amount of time, I create more than if I let that battle rage and destroy what little energy and time I have to work creatively.  When I’m not so rigid and let go of the expectations of where I think I should be, so much more gets done. And I feel so much better in the long run.

So, this is a written contract to myself. (Feel free to write one to yourself as well). To stop giving myself such a hard time. I can work hard without being so hard on myself.  And I will follow through this year with these three goals: to create, to organize and to live without self-doubt.

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