getting back in the swing of things

“Mom, you almost killed those people with your car.”

“What people?”

“Those people crossing the street.”

I saw the people my five year old was referring to and they were out in the street at the wrong time, trying to cheat the crosswalk markings and the signal that tells you when to cross. This is something my son doesn’t understand because he knows he would get in trouble if he walked out in the street in traffic. One thing he does understand is how to critique my driving. He’s the first one to notice if I take a wrong turn or make any wrong moves. Five minutes after his harsh criticism of my driving, he informed me that I don’t need to put on any makeup. ” You look pretty enough to kiss.”

Sometimes he acts like he’s five, sometimes twenty-five. I hate that he wants to grow up so fast. His six month old brother is right behind him. He doesn’t want to sit or crawl; he asks me with flailing arms to hold him up by his hands, up to the sky, so he can build those trunk muscles for walking, and running with his big brother. I wish they would slow down.

But slowing down isn’t something we do in this family. I have two happy, healthy and energetic boys that keep me on my toes. They are the most precious things I have in this world and I’ve never been more worried in my life. I have to balance raising these two sweethearts with all of my own career goals. I have to balance all of this with keeping my sanity as well. Balance has never been so tough–so much rides on me keeping it together and getting so much more accomplished on a lot less sleep.

No matter how difficult and fast-paced it gets, I won’t stop trying. I will give these boys everything I have. I will find time to write and to photograph. If there’s anything left, I will save a little time to relax.

6 month old looking with curiousity

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