last moments of freedom

boy squinting and swinging at park

 

As my four year old becomes more independent, I have to prepare for another sweet little soul who will depend on me for everything. That requires a lot of sacrifice on my end; I am independent and strong-willed. With all the adjustments I needed to make when my son entered our lives, he truly blessed me with just enough neediness and just enough independence so I could do what I do best—and be a decent parent too.

I took an entire college course years ago that revolved around balance and I’m still learning. At the moment I think I figured it out, something comes up. It stirs the attempts for normalcy and I have to work even harder to get through the simplest tasks. I worry that parenting two young boys will pull me in all directions and I hope I can reign myself back in and continue doing what I love. Not in a selfish way either. If I can fulfill my dreams, help my husband with his goals and take care of two handsome boys—that’s all I could ever ask for.

In less than eight weeks, I will have no choice as my due date is approaching. My frantic running around in circles to complete every project I’m working on at the moment will be pointless. Cleaning the crevices in the house that haven’t been touched in decades won’t matter to anyone but me. Hopefully in the weeks to come, I can take a few deep breaths and prepare for the next phase. No matter the outcome, I will continue to do everything humanly possible to achieve balance—because there’s nothing wrong with wanting to have it all.

swinging boy looking down

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