chill out

my son relaxing in a pile of styrofoam shavings

Recovering from illness is very difficult for me. It requires taking care of yourself immensely and I would rather focus on my projects and others than resting and relaxing. So I get in a lot of fights with my husband. He says “you’re not resting enough” and I say “yes I am” even when I know I’m not.

I mean it when I say I don’t know how to relax. My brain is constantly charged up, even when I am completely exhausted. When I watch a movie, I’m thinking about writing ideas. When my son is playing cars in the other room, I’m contemplating what I can do with the five minutes of free time I might have. Free time is limited. So I cherish it, often more than caring for myself.

As I look over my goal list for the spring, I realize that I have the same entry that I add to the list every season: find time to relax. My husband attempts to help by taking care of our son when he gets home so I can have time for myself. But I don’t want to miss out and I end up bugging them or doing some project or another.

I take a yoga class that helps but I need something more than once a week to wind down from it all. I wish my brain had  an on/off switch.

Got any suggestions on how to relax other than just telling me to chill out? (My husband tried that one and it didn’t work!)

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