serenity

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Serenity. I look for it in every day life—striving for a string of peaceful moments that evolve into relaxation. But stress sits on my shoulders, controlling my every move. The moments when relaxing is a possibility, my brain takes over and ruins everything. I think. I question. I burden myself with other people’s problems, often as a distraction from my own. Even in a garden, blooming with soothing color, I’m worried about: a friend, my allergies, my husband working too late or my son stepping on all the flowers because I’m not giving him constant attention. I worry if my blog readers are upset because I didn’t post enough to keep them interested, what I have to do the next week, the next morning, and in the next five minutes.  I don’t have time to breath, so relaxing is far from a priority in my stress-filled world.

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Some days I carry the world on my shoulders. I keep mentioning my shoulders because  I can feel the tension pulse like a habitual bee sting.

The burden of being a worrier was passed on through the womb. All sides of the family are worriers. We worry about worrying. Even discussing the issue, I second guess if I should even bring it up. My husband gives me a look and says, “you’re over-thinking things again.” And it’s true; I am. Yet this burden is occasionally a blessing. It fuels my writing because I can mentally prepare, empathize and imagine many situations.

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How do you find peaceful moments in the midst of every day life? Please let me know, and feel free to comment on my photography as well!

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