Coco, my colorist mentioned that the models will be dancing in her hair show. I gulped. My face turned green. I told her I’m not very coordinated.

I’ve been modeling in hair shows since 1999. I love the feeling of being on stage. It’s a perfect environment for me—I can get attention without having to say a word. My haircuts are edgy and distinct. People compliment my color wherever I go, from the gym to the gas station. I’m noticed.

I work with professionals in the beauty industry and for a few days out of the month, I live in the most perfect, intense, exciting, thrilling, unexpected situation.

My family never understood why I do these shows. Grandma asks if women actually ask to get their hair done like that. Mom only puts the pictures up of me when my hair is blonde. Since I’ve had hundreds of colors besides blonde, this is a bold statement.

Other’s opinions never bothered me before. But after having a baby, I’m not as confident with my body shape. Even close to my pre-pregnancy weight, I don’t feel the same. I started questioning myself…why do I keep doing these shows?  The word “dancing” twirled around in my head till I felt nauseous.

Even with all these events under my belt, I would never be coordinated enough to dance. But like I do at the most stressful times in my life, I let the fear consume me. Then I threw some Advil and Pepto-Bismol into my bag and drove out to the salon…

to be continued…

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